visual delights

while you are waiting {and waiting, and waiting} for my next proper post....enjoy these little delights. eye candy. the deliciousness that is my niece and nephews.

LOVE the look of absolute excitement on his face as he open his treasure chest birthday present :)

creative juices flowing

the little munchkin.

cheesy ballerina..

these little angels teach me every day about finding joy in everything. finding delight in the little things. letting my imagination go wild and living life. 

love you cheebies. xxx

disappointment

oh. my.

i promised you a new post. like last fortnight.

eeeek. i haven't delivered.


i am aware that i haven't delivered. and i know that i have disappointed my 'followers'.


this weekend. i promise
this weekend there will be a new post.

i have been sickies. and hectic at work.
no excuse, i know.
but i P.ROMISE!
this wknd it is ON!

thank you for standing by me despite my disappointments.

totally love you for that

remember me????

eeeeek.

hello. my lovely followers.
are you still there?



i have been so MIA lately.
there have been so many changes going on in my life.
and i apologise.
i have not posted for, like, ever.


but during that time, I have been gathering my thoughts.
thoughts on life.
on love.
on decisions.
on depression.
on beauty.
on a whole heap of important stuff.

i promise i will share some of these thoughts over the next few days.

now that life has calmed down a little,
i am going to get back into my blogging.

i have missed it so.
and i have continued to receive encouraging comments from you lovelies
so i am going to get back in to it.

after i have had a chillax time tonite.
haha. the week has been hectic.

so, i am enjoying a pinot gris, snuggled in front of the heater, relaxing.
i will transfer thought to paper (computer screen) tomorrow.

i am also getting a new hair style tomorrow. if you're lucky i'll post a pic

which reminds me.
i haven't been behind the camera in a while.
maybe this weekend is a good time to restart.


i hope you have all been well. and thank you for not abandoning me,
even though i have been so slack.

so, til tomorrow

no regrets. just love

my new mantra....

this photo was taken the same day as AJ's celebration service - some of her friends released blue balloons for her. i just love the pic (borrowed from the friend). added the quote.

this is what i need to continue to remember to do. just breathe. let go of the negative. let go of what i can't control. let go of the insecurities. let go of the doubts. let go of the past (well, the not-so-good parts anyway). just live my life. take a chance. who cares if i make the wrong decision? at least i made a decision! you never know if you don't try.

i have accepted a new job! woooo. excite. but also a little bit eeeek. nervous as heck. had a fleeting moment of worry - did i pick the right job? what if it's not the right one?

but that didn't last. i'm just going to run with the fact that i chose one. it's done. i can't unchange it (for now anyway). let's just see how it goes.

i've been going along to some therapy sessions with a psychologist (yes - that title did freak me out at first - am i really THAT screwed up?)
so far so good.
it almost feels like when i talk, as the words come out, i can let go of the hurt.
acknowledge the pain. then watch it fly away.
it's impossible to deny that talking does help. well, it does for me.
i guess it's just hearing that how i'm feeling is okay. i'm not crazy. i have a reason for feeling the way i do.

so now, i start my new job on tuesday! i'm super amped.
it's only 13 sleeps til the mister is back. can't wait to see my favourite person on the planet!
i just helped my niece get all ready for her dress up 'under the sea' day at kindy - as a mermaid.

life is good.

i'm living for today.
with hope for tomorrow.

no regrets. just love

short and sweet....

today, my post is a short one. i don't even have anything to say. i'll post a picture.
that is all.

new beginnings

well i promised an update, so here it is.

roughly 3 weeks ago, i resigned from my job. i didn't have another one lined up. just decided it was time to move on.

at first, i was a bit freaked out. no job = no money. even though my hubby has been supporting me, i still don't like not being able to earn my own money.

at first, i spent a lot of time thinking about that door that i just shut. was it the right thing to do? will i find another job? i'm going to miss the children so much!

but then i realised. the longer you spend looking at the door that has shut, the less likely you will be to see the other door that is opening for you.

i decided to move my focus away from the shut door of the old job.
that was a chapter in my life. an important chapter, and one that i have enjoyed, mostly.
but sometimes change is good.
new beginnings are important to stop ourselves getting stale and unchallenged.

i have been focusing my attention on the exciting future that i can now create for myself. a new job...one that i can choose and have the luxury {thanks to the amazing hubby} of not having to rush into.

i have been enjoying the time to get back to me over the past few weeks. rediscovering what i enjoy. what i value. what i have been missing in my life lately.
sure, the extra time has also meant that i have been missing the hubby a lot more than usual, but i just tell myself that i am lucky to have a hubby to miss. and missing him means that i love him. and that's a good thing :)

i have had more time to spend with friends, family, myself.

i have done a little bit of photography too, which i haven't done for a while.

today was a beautiful day and i had the delightful pleasure of taking some photos for a gorgeous little family who wanted to celebrate the life of their son. an outdoor venue was chosen {a gorgeous park that i used to frequent a lot as a little girl with my Gran}

here are a few shots that i snapped of the beautiful surroundings in between shots of the family {totally unedited, btw}

so, you can see the stunning crisp autumn {nearly winter} day that it was!


so this post is all about having no regrets. life is too short to stay in a job that isn't right for you. life is too short to stay indoors just because it's a little bit chilly. life is just too short for regrets full stop.

here's to the future. although uncertain as to what it brings for me, i'm excited.
bring it on!

just a thought....

let's get one thing straight.
you are not your hair - frizzy, smooth or limp.
you are not your feet - colossal, average or tiny.
you are not your thighs - scrawny, muscular or dimpled.
you are NOT your looks.

what you are is far more than the eye can see.
you are your history.
you are your culture.
you are your quirks.
you are your talents.
you are your goals and accomplishments.
you are your relationships.
you are your spirit.

and absolutely none of that can be judged by a photograph.

i just did my first guest blog!

excite!
a friend asked me to do a guest post on their blog!

i actually loved the post i wrote. so if you wanna check it out go here!


i promise i will have another new post up on here soon. so much to talk about!
life is busy at the moment. busy is good.

will catch you all up soon!

peace x

i still see beauty...

i have been surrounded in beauty over the past few days. not only did my wonderful mister send me a beautiful bouquet of flowers for our anniversary (some of which are still going strong), 

i also received an anonymous bouquet of stunning tulips. i am guessing that these beauties are from one of you, my followers, so again i wish to say thank you. 

tulips are, in my opinion, an often overlooked and forgotten flower. but i have been absolutely loving the array of colours, and watching them slowly open up. 

not only have i received beautiful flowers, but i am becoming more and more aware of how to appreciate what i already have.
the beautiful family and friends that i have been blessed with are continuously uplifting me, despite their own 'things' going on. i am overwhelmed by the support and love these people pour into my life. i am realising that having a few amazing close friends is far better than having a whole hoard of 'friends' who you barely see/hear from. i already knew that friendships change as you 'grow up', but it doesn't stop the hurt when a friendship is lost forever. i have been lucky enough to have a few old friendships that have come back to life.
i am also so thankful for all the amazing messages i have been receiving from all of you. i almost decided to stop my blog. but that idea was short-lived. apparently, my goal of creating understanding of what it is like to suffer from depression is actually being achieved. i have been told that i am helping people get a 'new perspective' on the whole issue.

i have also started getting creative again....something i haven't done for quite a while. this is the latest piece i made which i'm actually quite in love with....

(excuse the poor quality of the pic, and the shadows. 

i'll get a better photo of it soon)

i believe that no matter what the pain is that you are feeling, eventually there will be some healing, eventually there will be something to make life worth it again. i have decided to focus on my beautiful family and friends and the way they make me feel. they make life worth it. they make battling with my depression worth it. i want to be better. for them and for me. i want them to see the true me that is still buried under the dark cloak of depression. i want to see her too. sometimes, i think i get a glimpse of her and it gives me hope.

i saw this quote that my darling eldest sister put on her facey page. i had to steal (sorry kyky x)

Hope is sweet-minded and sweet-eyed. 

It draws pictures; it weaves fancies; it fills the future with delight.

- Henry Ward Beecher

here's to a future filled with delight. a future with no regrets.

a future filled with love 

i've realised...

I found this OLD as note on my facebook page. It was one of those 'complete and forward' things....I wrote these answers back in 2009!!!! some of the answers have changed (to do with study, etc) but some answers are still the same.

Lately i havent been able to come to terms.
Until I've realized that I've realized too much!!!

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note completing the 36 "I’ve come to realize." At the end, choose the friends you want to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you or I knew you way back when and am interested in what life has taught you!!

PLEASE EXCUSE THE MIS-SPELLING OF REALISE. I COULD NOT BE BOTHERED FIXING THEM ALL!!! LOL

1. I've come to realize that my chest-size...
changes it's mind every day :)

2. I've come to realize that my job(s)...
is definitely NOT about the money...but is soooo worth it if your focus is in the right place

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
it's the only time and place I could fall asleep in a second....unfortunately

4. I've come to realize that I need....
to be hugged. regularly.

5. I've come to realize that I have lost...
my mind! well, at least some of my brain...i think it falls out the bottom when i put more info in

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
I'm too tired to handle anything...my reactions, or lack of, often get misunderstood

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...
i've obviously been drinking :P

8. I've come to realize that money...
isn't everything and doesn't necessarily buy you happiness. but i already knew that

9. I've come to realize that certain people...
are just not worth the hassle

10. I've come to realize that I'll always ...
feel just that little bit insecure. although some people wouldn't believe it.

11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s)...
are both amazing people, in their own right

12. I've come to realize that my mum...
has touched the lives of possibly millions of people (okay - slight exaggeration there, but you get my drift :P) and i should be thankful she is MY mum

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
is missing the numbers of some people who used to be very important to me...and i feel sad about that :(

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
I wasn't prepared for today

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep...
i wonder if i will actually get some sleep tonight

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking...
i wonder what i'll get for that assignment i just finished tonite

17. I've come to realize that my dad...
is happiest in China (had to copy, sorry Kylie - its true), but is proud of what he does in China.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
it takes FAR too long for me to get off again

19. I've come to realize that today...
I could actually achieve it! assignment finished!

20. I've come to realize that tonight...
I'm nervous about tomorrow...

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow...
I will need to overcome my nerves and my insecurities and be brave.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
be happy, well-slept and secure

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is...
No idea

24. I've come to realize that life...
is for living...there's no point wasting it away...it's also what you make it

25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
will again be filled with study :(

26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset...
anything uplifting - to help me shake my upset-ness...

27. I've come to realize that my friends...
are the kind of people who I know will always be close to me, no matter how little time we spend together, or how far away we are...cheesy i know - but true.

28. I've come to realize that this year...
i took on far too much, and i keep taking on more.....

29. I've come to realize that my ex...
is actually not that cool after all

30. I've come to realize that maybe I should...
get back into my dancing...or even be brave and try and put myself out there (singing)

31. I've come to realize that I love...
my family and friends a lot!!!!!!

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand...
myself half the time

33. I've come to realize my past...
is full of pot-holes and mountains...downs and ups...but they were all there for me to learn something from...

34. I've come to realize that parties...
are best when they're small and with the people you care most about :) and when there's great music, of course!

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified...
of failing. of collapsing in a heap because I'm finally totally exhausted.

36. I've come to realize that my life...
is unpredictable. but that's kind of exciting :)

through the eyes of a child...

this afternoon the sun decided to show it's face for a little while.

so i decided to get out of the house and go for a walk. but i wanted company. so my gorgeous little niece came with. she's 3. she's absolutely adorable.

we were gone for such a long time, because Noelle wanted to just keep on walking. the delight that she got from even just the little things that we found along the way was refreshing.

a praying mantis.

builders building a house

hearing a bird singing (which she mimicked in a sing-song voice "Good morning! How are you today? I'm fine, thank you. And you?)

watching the clouds in the sky (one of which she was sure was following her - "Maybe it wants to be my friend")

we went to the park. standard kid stuff. swing. see-saw. 

then the lake. to find the ducks (but there weren't any. Noelle's response? "oh well, maybe we come back tomorrow with some bread and they'll be there")

as we were walking we saw a HUGE flight of steps going up to the top of the hill. After we had already had a conversation about clouds, Noelle decided that she needed to be taller so she could touch the clouds. She decided that walking up the steps was how she would reach them.

"please, Rachel, we walk up the steps now?" are you sure? i asked, not actually very keen on walking all the way up and then having to come all the way down again. "Yes, sure!" she said excitedly.

so off we went. counting the steps as we went. we got half way. 

me: are you tired yet? do you want to go back down?

Noelle: no! we not at the top yet! we got to go up there to touch the clouds

we did make it in the end. all the way to the top. and what a view! we could see all the places we had just walked to, and the colours were beautiful. we couldn't quite touch the clouds, but noelle didn't seem to mind. she was happy that she was closer to them than before. and she enjoyed the view too. we talked about clouds for ages, and everything else we could see. we talked about how clouds can sometimes look like different things, and have different colours in them, like when the sun is setting. Noelle saw one that she was adamant looked like a caterpillar. i couldn't quite see it, but maybe i wasn't looking hard enough :)

walking with noelle today was lovely. not only to get out and get some fresh air and clear my head, but just watching the joy she found in the smallest things. it reminded me of me when i was little. every discovery was a major deal. every little outing was fun. every experience was a time to learn more and delight in.

what's happened? why do i not see life like that anymore? why is it that i forget that the little things i do everyday are important. the little short visits i have with people are valuable. the sights around me are beautiful. why have i let myself get so busy, and so caught up in what i think i should doing, or what people want me to do, that i have forgotten to just live life and enjoy it. 

i want to have the heart of a child again. i want to have the fresh view of the world - like every day i will discover something new, and everything is exciting. 

i had a bit of fun and googled 'clouds that look like things'....some funny results.

i'll share a few of my faves with you

i will remember to look up, and see the interesting shapes i can see in the clouds...and i will remember to take delight in the little things i do, and the beautiful things around me.

thanks Noelle. it seems i am getting a lot of insight into how to live life from people much younger than me lately. i'm not too proud to say it. i'm not too proud to learn life lessons from my 3 year old niece. or my friend's 19 year old sister.

you live and learn, everyday

30 things to do.....revisited

so, i can't sleep, and i just remembered that ages ago i wrote a blog about the things i want to do before i turn 30. i thought it would be fun to revisit that list and see how many (if any) things i could tick off the list.


hmmm...i might have a lot of work ahead of me.


#1 - perform in a stage musical - haven't even thought about this one yet
#2 - do a photography course - am looking at options now :)
#3 - go sky-diving
#4 - start business with Kylie
#5 - go to New York
#6 - do a make-up course - again - looking at options now! excited :)
#7 - go to the Melbourne Races - tickets are BOOKED! wooooooooo!
#8 - sell my first photograph - to someone i don't know :) - DONE! this was done ages ago....pretty exciting moment :)
#9 - sit my Grade 8 piano exam - i actually haven't even played since last year :(
#10 - be off my meds completely - nope. just got them upped. eeek.
#11 - help build a home for Habitat for Humanity
#12 - have been to 30 concerts in my life (so far i've been to 6, sad huh?) - getting better. i think it's more like 15 or something.
#13 - go skinny dipping
#14 - swim with sharks (well, at least cage diving anyway)
#15 - go scuba diving again (i haven't been for 6 years!)
#16 - learn french, enough to hold a decent conversation - am starting french classes next wednesday!
#17 - compete in and finish a half marathon - pfffft. whatever :)
#18 - write a letter to all the people in my life that i am close to, telling them what i appreciate about each of them - seems more important now than ever before. i WILL do this during my 2 weeks off.
#19 - learn a new sport
#20 - learn to surf (and NOT be scared of the sharks)
#21 - get back into dancing.  i will find a class and attend it - regularly.
#22 - lose 10kgs
#23 - have an overseas holiday with my 2 sisters
#24 - treat my bestie to something amazing (that she really needs)
#25 - set up an album where i take and print one picture every day - showing a highlight from that day
#26 - start writing a book
#27 - go on a Volunteer holiday with the hubby
#28 - be able to bait my own hook (this is one for the hubby, he'll be so please, haha) - this one i can actually do now! YES!
#29 - donate $500 to a local charity
#30 - have a baby (or at least get pregnant by the time i'm 30)





ah, see. still plenty of things to do before i'm 30. 
just as well. otherwise life would be pretty boring between now and january 2013!




also. i'm very excited that it's now autumn. i'm looking forward to getting the cameras out and having fun with the colours.

fear of failing & lessons from a 19 year old

wow. what a roller-coaster journey life has been recently.
one day, everything's perfect. life is good and you are truly happy.
the next, everything's different.

i don't know what it is (well, actually I do - it's a nasty thing called Depression) but i have this intense fear of failing. the last thing i want to do is let anybody down, no matter what the cost.
usually, the cost is my own health and sense of well-being.

this is the hardest thing for me. learning to be selfish. saying no to people when i can't do things.
the real me is a people pleaser. and i don't want to change that. because seeing others happy does make me happy. it's just temporary until i end up burnt out.
the real me is someone who is there for her friends and family when they really need her. and i don't want to change that either.

i think what i need to learn to do is find a good balance - time for me, and time for others.
i also need to be aware of how much of others' problems that i take onboard. because i do. if i'm involved in someone else's problems - it's never easy to walk away from it. i continue to dwell on the issue even when i'm not around them. i really take the full weight of the problem on my shoulders.
maybe that's why my back and neck are so munted. (wow. a little joke. ha)

i've been ordered by the doc to have at least 2 weeks off work. hmmmm.
as much as i know that he is probably right and i need some time for me, i can't help but feel that not being at work is meaning that i'm letting my boss down, the other teachers and the children down too. i know that may is a busy month for us with a few teachers away.... this doesn't help me feel less of a failure. it makes me feel completely useless.
but i know that if i don't do as i'm told, i'll end up even more useless later on - and the children deserve me at my best. i don't want to give them anything less than 100%

depression is such a difficult thing - because i KNOW there are people going through seriously difficult situations right now, who have a reason to be struggling with life. then there's me. i don't have any reason to be the way i am. no reason for crumpling into a crying mess at the drop of a hat. i have a lot to be thankful for, and i know that. it's just telling the depression that.

anyway. i also wanted to write about some things i have learned over the last week. things that my friend's 19 year old sister has taught me.
1) LIVE YOUR LIFE EVERYDAY
not everyone actually lives their life to the full, everyday. she did. i should.
2) FORGIVE EASILY
people are going to hurt you throughout your life. people hurt her. she forgave them.
holding a grudge and resenting others only really makes you bitter and unhappy.
people are truly only human. none of us are perfect - we all make mistakes.
3) LAUGH OFTEN
life is too short to be taken so seriously. laughter is the best medicine, and it's amazing how good you feel after a good, genuine chuckle.
4) LOVE MUCH
AJ loved all people. no judgement. accepting all differences. this is not easy to do.
nobody is less than anyone else, and therefore everyone deserves to be treated equally. with respect. with love. with compassion. and with acceptance. this is something i am going to try and do better at.

it is amazing how much she packed into her short 19 years. and it is humbling how much she had to share with and teach others. a truly inspiring young woman. thank you, AJ, for what you taught me. your smile, joy and love will be forever missed.

heavy heart

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart. And try to love the questions themselves . . ." – Rainer Maria Rilke




‎"Those who wish to sing always find a song." – Swedish Proverb




"Let us cry. Let us be. Let us open up our hearts without fear of anything." – Rise Against




‎"I want you to be everything that's you, deep at the center of your being." – Confuscious




"Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul." – Democritus




‎"It is never too late to be what you might have been." – George Eliot




‎"Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?" – Lucy Maud Montgomery




"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." – E.E. Cummings




"Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clear view again." – Alex Tan








This week has been a difficult one. My friend's little sister, who i wrote about in a previous blog, passed away in the early hours of Tuesday morning. Questions arise "why her?"
she was so young - only 19
and so full of joy and love....
reading her facebook wall, it is clear to see that to know her was to love her completely. she just radiated love. 
yet, i can't imagine the loss and pain her family are feeling. i can't even imagine losing a sister, a daughter. 


death can come so sudden. and life is so short and fragile. it really reminds me, again, to be grateful for the things i do have. grateful for my amazing family, my beautiful friends, my health.


it also reminds me, again, that at the end of the day - success isn't about what you have. it's about how much love you've generated. she was definitely a love generator - she loved many, and was loved in return by many. to me, that is the sign of a successful life. everyone she knew was impacted by her in some way. she lived her life to the full. she loved her life and all who shared it with her. 




again, i say, live each day to the fullest. be grateful for what you have. cherish those who are dear to your heart. don't put off til tomorrow things that should be done or said today. celebrate beauty. love LOTS! laugh often. enjoy each moment.






in death, as in life, she was an inspiration. never losing faith. never losing love.


rest in peace, little one. you were, and will always be, loved and cherished by all who knew you. you will not be forgotten. 
xxx

road to nowhere?

after yesterday's blog being so positive...i have to admit, today is completely different.

i'm feeling very lonely today. very alone. 

i know i'm on a journey, one that may take a while...

but sometimes i wonder just where this road is taking me?

it feels like i'm on a road to nowhere....sometimes.

like i take one step forward, then 2 gigantic steps backwards.

(photo taken at Pineda de Mar in Spain)

one day, hopefully, i will reach the end of the road...or at least start out on a new, better journey.

thought provoking week

hello all.
sorry i haven't written (again) for such a long time. there's been a lot going on lately. one of my best friend's  little sister is in a critical condition in hospital at the mo, and it really gets you thinking about life and what's important.

isn't it dumb, though, that it takes something serious like this to make you appreciate the good things you have? your health, for one.

too often these days we get too busy with life, that we forget about the people in it who really mean everything to us - the people who make life worthwhile.
my new challenge for myself is to take more time out of being busy and making more time for my friends and family.

i think i already do kind of okay....but i know i can do so much better.

so the week hasn't ended on such a good note...hopefully things will improve for my friend's sister....everyone is thinking and praying for her.

however, there have been some fun times lately....mostly with my photography....another wedding and another baby bump shoot.....lots of fun!

wedding in new plymouth:

baby bump shots:

a big huge thank you to all the people who have trusted me to capture these special moments in their lives. i have a few more booked in, which is exciting and completely humbling......i really enjoy catching these moments - as all of these moments together, with the special people in our lives, are truly what life is all about.

these 2 sets of photos also show completely my life slogan "no regrets. just love"
the stories behind the photos are amazing too - and that's why i love being a part of it. for me, i prefer these more personal jobs...because i know where the people have been and i will know them in the future too....i don't just walk in and out of their lives.

there have been times when i have been close to chucking in the photog role. there are MANY times where i feel inadequate and completely out of my depth. there are times where i wonder why i should expect people to put such important events in my hands to photograph. i know everyone starts somewhere, but do i do a good enough job?

after the week that's passed, i have decided that i shouldn't be so down on myself. Ultimately, i take photos because i love doing it. and because i love capturing the special moments for the people who are special in my life. I don't know if photography will ever truly be a career for me - in the sense that total strangers hire me to snap away during their weddings or to capture the innocent and beautiful faces of their children... but if there are people in my life who like my work and want me to photograph their moments, then i will happily do so. it is actually an honour.

my message for everyone today is to stop and think about how you see yourself and your life. are you feeling down? can you not see any positive things at the moment? remember to appreciate even the little things that you have. all the little things eventually add up to a heck of a lot. and also remember, the little things that you have may be the things that others are desperately wishing for. be grateful and content with your hand in life. if you're not, then make the changes you need to be happy. take every opportunity to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. take every opportunity to live your life to the fullest.


love easily. anger slowly. accept differences. celebrate beauty.

no regrets. just love.

long time. no love

ahhh….so i have to apologize. i have neglected my blog loving for a while. a LONG while.

my bad.
I guess i've just been so sublimely happy of late that i haven't felt the need to burden the world with my delight and happiness :)
in saying that…i guess i should share it more because i have been so happy…

so tonight…i'm sitting in the gorgeous land of Fiji…on day 2 of a 5 night vacay with my mister before he heads back to europe and the boat for 3 months…
so far…my vacay has consisted of -
a 1 hour full body massage & detoxifying body wrap…
lounging by the pool
having fun taking photos underwater
drinking at the 'swim up' pool bar
delicious food at the many restaurants in the resort
quality time with just me and my mister


i am having the best time so far.
life back home has been great too -
a new nephew who is just absolutely PERFECT
getting creative with buttons letters again..
good catch ups with friends…
study has started again (eeeek)…but good to keep my brain active :)
work is going well….
life in general is just dandy.

i won't write a big post today…should go and hang with the hubby.
will write again soon. promise!

i'm looking forward to saturday - we've got a cruise booked….dinner & a fire show & a kava ceremony….oh my! fun :)

love fiji. so much friendliness & happiness…the smiles are just huge here. now i see why :)
i'll leave you with some snapshots of our time so far
x

comparing your life to others'

i have decided that there is nothing sillier than comparing your life to other peoples' lives.

this is something that i am completely guilty of a lot of the time. i was especially bad last year, and the year before that...but this year i am determined to be more content with what i have in my life and make the most of it.

right now, it's a bit difficult though. a LOT of my friends from high school (and life in general) have either had babies or are pregnant now. i'm totally ecstatic for them, of course, and wish them nothing but joy in their new adventures as mummies....but i can't help feeling a little jealous because the ONE thing i want more than anything in my life is to be a mummy...to have my own little cherub to love and nurture and adore.

i know, i know. it will happen. when it's right. good things take time. yeah, yeah.
and i also understand the logic that now we've started with our new house plans (YAY!!!!!!!) we might as well wait until that is all finished before we start shooting out the sprockets. but, it's a little bit hard when growing up, i ALWAYS thought i would have had my babies by now. WELL before now.
oh well. i guess life it like that. things happen. new adventures take you in new directions, and therefore plans change. or have to be put on hold. it's all good. it's all part of the journey.

i am pretty happy with my life right now. the weather is gorgeous. sunshine, warmth, and blue skies make me happy. the mister is home. we have a visitor from the UK here too, which makes life fun. i also have made a new breakthrough with my health and fitness regime. just got home from the gym now, and even I was surprised at how motivated i was during my workout today. you should have seen the look on my Personal Trainer's face when she came in and saw me running on the treadmill. haha....sounds like nothing, i know - but if you truly know me, you will know how much i absolutely positively LOATHE running. but there i was. running. fast. for ages. phew!
i am determined that 2011 is going to be my year. and so far, it is. life is good. i am happy. i am not needing my meds as regularly (but yes, i'm still being careful about that). i have reunited with 'lost' friends from last year and i am committed to keeping my relationships on track and flourishing. my photography is going well and i am hoping will get even better.

today is a good day. now is a good time in my life and i am really relishing being able to enjoy it.

"keep up the good work" - i should tell myself this everyday.
i AM doing well. i AM fighting and i AM winning. my life is becoming more and more my own again. i have more control and i LOVE it!!!!!

another new thing...

so, first of all. i just HAVE to mention about one of the things i did this past weekend. i had a stall with my sis kylie (from ReallyReally Design) at the Little Big Markets on saturday - and i actually sold 3 photos to a complete stranger! YAY!!! that was one of the things on my list!!! it was awesome. a complete stranger came up. looked at my photos. ooohed and aaaahed. then decided to buy 3! not just 1! woooooooooooo! yep. i had a huge grin on my face. probably looked like a real goof. haha. oh well. i was happy :)

another thing i did this past weekend was something completely new for me in my photography. i did my first ever baby bump photo shoot....pregnancy photo shoot.....whatever you want to brand it as. i was SO nervous, but thankfully it was an old friend of mine who is just the loveliest creature you could ever meet. it also helped that she is stunningly gorgeous - even with only 2 weeks to go until bubba arrives!

I hope she won't mind, but i just HAD to share a couple of my faves. well, maybe even just one. one without faces. i was so happy with how they turned out!

i am so excited about 2011 and what it holds for me. i have a good feeling....good things are gonna happen! i got another new camera...a panorama film one....hopefully i'll have better luck with that one than i did with "pomme"...

on a completely random side note....i tried battered stingray the other night...and actually quite fancied it! hmmm.....and the lady at the fish'n'chip shop said it was only good for dogs! Pffffft.

snapping away...

so, over the new year holiday, i spent some time with the mister and some friends up in whangamata. yummy sunshine, sea, wine and plenty of laughs.
while we were there, i took the opportunity to take a few snaps of my friends and their baby...a little cutie called Aden. I was super happy with how some of the pics turned out...and i thought i would share a few on here (hopefully mummy and daddy don't mind)....

i snapped quite a few, but these are my faves....

what do you think?
i've got a 'baby bump' photo shoot coming up on saturday, which i'm rather excited about (but is my first ever, so a bit nervous)....and then i have my first wedding in 2 weeks! argh! scary. but good. i need to put myself out there more.
no regrets. right?

wish me luck!