new beginnings

well i promised an update, so here it is.

roughly 3 weeks ago, i resigned from my job. i didn't have another one lined up. just decided it was time to move on.

at first, i was a bit freaked out. no job = no money. even though my hubby has been supporting me, i still don't like not being able to earn my own money.

at first, i spent a lot of time thinking about that door that i just shut. was it the right thing to do? will i find another job? i'm going to miss the children so much!

but then i realised. the longer you spend looking at the door that has shut, the less likely you will be to see the other door that is opening for you.

i decided to move my focus away from the shut door of the old job.
that was a chapter in my life. an important chapter, and one that i have enjoyed, mostly.
but sometimes change is good.
new beginnings are important to stop ourselves getting stale and unchallenged.

i have been focusing my attention on the exciting future that i can now create for myself. a new job...one that i can choose and have the luxury {thanks to the amazing hubby} of not having to rush into.

i have been enjoying the time to get back to me over the past few weeks. rediscovering what i enjoy. what i value. what i have been missing in my life lately.
sure, the extra time has also meant that i have been missing the hubby a lot more than usual, but i just tell myself that i am lucky to have a hubby to miss. and missing him means that i love him. and that's a good thing :)

i have had more time to spend with friends, family, myself.

i have done a little bit of photography too, which i haven't done for a while.

today was a beautiful day and i had the delightful pleasure of taking some photos for a gorgeous little family who wanted to celebrate the life of their son. an outdoor venue was chosen {a gorgeous park that i used to frequent a lot as a little girl with my Gran}

here are a few shots that i snapped of the beautiful surroundings in between shots of the family {totally unedited, btw}

so, you can see the stunning crisp autumn {nearly winter} day that it was!


so this post is all about having no regrets. life is too short to stay in a job that isn't right for you. life is too short to stay indoors just because it's a little bit chilly. life is just too short for regrets full stop.

here's to the future. although uncertain as to what it brings for me, i'm excited.
bring it on!

just a thought....

let's get one thing straight.
you are not your hair - frizzy, smooth or limp.
you are not your feet - colossal, average or tiny.
you are not your thighs - scrawny, muscular or dimpled.
you are NOT your looks.

what you are is far more than the eye can see.
you are your history.
you are your culture.
you are your quirks.
you are your talents.
you are your goals and accomplishments.
you are your relationships.
you are your spirit.

and absolutely none of that can be judged by a photograph.

i just did my first guest blog!

excite!
a friend asked me to do a guest post on their blog!

i actually loved the post i wrote. so if you wanna check it out go here!


i promise i will have another new post up on here soon. so much to talk about!
life is busy at the moment. busy is good.

will catch you all up soon!

peace x

i still see beauty...

i have been surrounded in beauty over the past few days. not only did my wonderful mister send me a beautiful bouquet of flowers for our anniversary (some of which are still going strong), 

i also received an anonymous bouquet of stunning tulips. i am guessing that these beauties are from one of you, my followers, so again i wish to say thank you. 

tulips are, in my opinion, an often overlooked and forgotten flower. but i have been absolutely loving the array of colours, and watching them slowly open up. 

not only have i received beautiful flowers, but i am becoming more and more aware of how to appreciate what i already have.
the beautiful family and friends that i have been blessed with are continuously uplifting me, despite their own 'things' going on. i am overwhelmed by the support and love these people pour into my life. i am realising that having a few amazing close friends is far better than having a whole hoard of 'friends' who you barely see/hear from. i already knew that friendships change as you 'grow up', but it doesn't stop the hurt when a friendship is lost forever. i have been lucky enough to have a few old friendships that have come back to life.
i am also so thankful for all the amazing messages i have been receiving from all of you. i almost decided to stop my blog. but that idea was short-lived. apparently, my goal of creating understanding of what it is like to suffer from depression is actually being achieved. i have been told that i am helping people get a 'new perspective' on the whole issue.

i have also started getting creative again....something i haven't done for quite a while. this is the latest piece i made which i'm actually quite in love with....

(excuse the poor quality of the pic, and the shadows. 

i'll get a better photo of it soon)

i believe that no matter what the pain is that you are feeling, eventually there will be some healing, eventually there will be something to make life worth it again. i have decided to focus on my beautiful family and friends and the way they make me feel. they make life worth it. they make battling with my depression worth it. i want to be better. for them and for me. i want them to see the true me that is still buried under the dark cloak of depression. i want to see her too. sometimes, i think i get a glimpse of her and it gives me hope.

i saw this quote that my darling eldest sister put on her facey page. i had to steal (sorry kyky x)

Hope is sweet-minded and sweet-eyed. 

It draws pictures; it weaves fancies; it fills the future with delight.

- Henry Ward Beecher

here's to a future filled with delight. a future with no regrets.

a future filled with love 

i've realised...

I found this OLD as note on my facebook page. It was one of those 'complete and forward' things....I wrote these answers back in 2009!!!! some of the answers have changed (to do with study, etc) but some answers are still the same.

Lately i havent been able to come to terms.
Until I've realized that I've realized too much!!!

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note completing the 36 "I’ve come to realize." At the end, choose the friends you want to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you or I knew you way back when and am interested in what life has taught you!!

PLEASE EXCUSE THE MIS-SPELLING OF REALISE. I COULD NOT BE BOTHERED FIXING THEM ALL!!! LOL

1. I've come to realize that my chest-size...
changes it's mind every day :)

2. I've come to realize that my job(s)...
is definitely NOT about the money...but is soooo worth it if your focus is in the right place

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
it's the only time and place I could fall asleep in a second....unfortunately

4. I've come to realize that I need....
to be hugged. regularly.

5. I've come to realize that I have lost...
my mind! well, at least some of my brain...i think it falls out the bottom when i put more info in

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
I'm too tired to handle anything...my reactions, or lack of, often get misunderstood

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...
i've obviously been drinking :P

8. I've come to realize that money...
isn't everything and doesn't necessarily buy you happiness. but i already knew that

9. I've come to realize that certain people...
are just not worth the hassle

10. I've come to realize that I'll always ...
feel just that little bit insecure. although some people wouldn't believe it.

11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s)...
are both amazing people, in their own right

12. I've come to realize that my mum...
has touched the lives of possibly millions of people (okay - slight exaggeration there, but you get my drift :P) and i should be thankful she is MY mum

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
is missing the numbers of some people who used to be very important to me...and i feel sad about that :(

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
I wasn't prepared for today

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep...
i wonder if i will actually get some sleep tonight

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking...
i wonder what i'll get for that assignment i just finished tonite

17. I've come to realize that my dad...
is happiest in China (had to copy, sorry Kylie - its true), but is proud of what he does in China.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
it takes FAR too long for me to get off again

19. I've come to realize that today...
I could actually achieve it! assignment finished!

20. I've come to realize that tonight...
I'm nervous about tomorrow...

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow...
I will need to overcome my nerves and my insecurities and be brave.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
be happy, well-slept and secure

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is...
No idea

24. I've come to realize that life...
is for living...there's no point wasting it away...it's also what you make it

25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
will again be filled with study :(

26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset...
anything uplifting - to help me shake my upset-ness...

27. I've come to realize that my friends...
are the kind of people who I know will always be close to me, no matter how little time we spend together, or how far away we are...cheesy i know - but true.

28. I've come to realize that this year...
i took on far too much, and i keep taking on more.....

29. I've come to realize that my ex...
is actually not that cool after all

30. I've come to realize that maybe I should...
get back into my dancing...or even be brave and try and put myself out there (singing)

31. I've come to realize that I love...
my family and friends a lot!!!!!!

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand...
myself half the time

33. I've come to realize my past...
is full of pot-holes and mountains...downs and ups...but they were all there for me to learn something from...

34. I've come to realize that parties...
are best when they're small and with the people you care most about :) and when there's great music, of course!

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified...
of failing. of collapsing in a heap because I'm finally totally exhausted.

36. I've come to realize that my life...
is unpredictable. but that's kind of exciting :)