what can i say, i've been busy.
i've been busy growing.
learning.
changing.
loving.
i've been busy living.
my move to china happened nearly 9 months ago now. it is so clear that this is definitely where i'm supposed to be.
right now, i am in the moment that, quite a while ago, i had hoped would come.
that 'one day everything will make sense' moment.
it's kind of exciting, i have to admit.
i'm not gonna lie and pretend that every day is easy now.
that i don't still have difficult days.
that the darkness doesn't still linger in the background.
that those harmful words spoken over me don't still play on my insecurities.
every day is not easy. but most of the days are.
i do still have difficult days, but they are few and far between - and now i have someone who gets it, gets me
and actually wants to support me on those days.
the darkness tries its hardest to take over again. but i am stronger now.
those words do still echo in the most remote corners of my mind,
but his loving words now scream louder
china not only brought me new direction, new purpose, new adventures.
it also brought me new love.
real love.
the kind that knows all your darkness, all your fears, all your insecurities, but chooses to stay.
the kind that works hard every day to show you your strengths, your possibilities, your light.
i never knew it could be so freeing. so uplifting. so amazing.
he is beyond incredible.
and i feel so incredibly blessed.
china has also brought another kind of love.
me love.
"i know i am enough.
possible to be loved.
it was not about me"
{katy perry}
no more focussing on who i was. or who i was perceived to be.
i now see who i am. who i can be.
i'm still learning, still growing.
still finding my way in some regards.
but i'm getting there.
and now, i know the way.
the only way is up.
no regrets. just love
